Tuesday, October 9, 2012

All is "fair" in love and war?

Well, it's that time of year. The fair is here! This used to be my very favorite week of the year. I like to go one day for rides, one day for food and then another day to look and maybe go to a concert. I kinda loved the fair.

Notice the past tense? "used to" and "loveD"...

You see, he-who-shall-not-be-named knew my love for the fair and decided to go all Notebook on me and proposed at the fair. On the ferris wheel. At the top. It was amazing. Thoughtful, exciting, perfect.

Then for our first anniversary, we went back for our photos. We played some more and after the shoot, we went back on the ferris wheel and traveled memory lane.

The following year I was huge pregnant. We went, but they wouldn't let me ride anything.. not even the ferris wheel. We just walked, ate caramel apples and talked about when we could take A up and tell her our love story.

The year after that, he was away, I was busy, life crept up on us and we didn't go.

Now this year... this year, I was excited as usual. Counting down. Then it came time to actually go. Y'all, I am scared. I do not want to make it about me. I want to take A and enjoy it with her, have fun, see the animals, maybe ride a few rides, eat food we can only get at the fair. Make new memories with her. But the reality is I'm terrified that it won't go that way and everything will just be a reminder and I won't be able to enjoy it. And as I posted about (here) if I'm not happy, she can't be either. And I want her to be happy. All the time. I don't want to ruin a fun day for her by dwelling on my own miseries and not being able to enjoy the moment.

The fair will still be here for one more weekend. I am going back and forth about going. I may give in and go. But right now, I'm kinda thinking maybe one more year will do me some good...



1 comment:

  1. I've been stalking all day waiting for this post. I'll admit it.
    I'm thinking Urijah and I, and my mom, will be going Saturday evening. I get off at 6. If so, y'all should go, too. It's going to be a lot different for me, too. But our babies will love it. We have to be happy for them. Chin up love!

    ReplyDelete

Site Design by Designer Blogs