Monday, December 10, 2012

Occasions for Joy

I've spent a lot of time Trying to dissect and make sense of the tests I've been faced with. I want to take time to recognize some "occasions for joy" that have also come out of this. I'm not at a point I can focus solely on the joy yet, but I do want to make a better effort to at least recognize that there are some...

I grew up in the church. As an adult though, I didn't necessarily quit believing, but I certainly became a "lazy Christian" and allowed my relationship with God to be pushed to the side. Through this, I have renewed that daily conversation & have FELT His presence around me more than ever. More than when I was at church almost every night of the week.

If this had to happen, I'm glad it happened now. Before things escalated in our home. Before prissy is old enough to fully understand or feel put in the middle. Before we bought a home. Before I became pregnant again.

I have a better idea of deal breakers in a relationship and traits I really want in a partner. And I'm still young enough I have time for a 2nd chance. A do over so to speak... Should I decide to travel that road again.

I have been blessed with new friendships and the opportunity to rebuild old ones.

I have been forced to reevaluate my life all the way around. Friendships, family ties, priorities, goals, every aspect of my life is now open for evaluation.

Yes, I am no longer a stay at home mom & hate leaving her everyday. But now I get to experience being missed. I get to see her run to me & wrap her little arms around my neck after being away.

I have found a new independence. I take pride in doing things on my own now. Just knowing that I can is a great feeling.

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