Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013 Goals

I feel like "New Years Resolutions" immediately translates to "I'm obligated to say it even though I have no intentions of following through". Right? Is that just me? Nevermind then...

I'm not entering 2013 with big plans of fitting back in pre-whatever pants. Or lemon & hot sauce cleanses. Or promises to quit wearing leggings as pants & start wearing makeup. While I'm sure those would be great plans & the people that have to look at me everyday would appreciate it, I'm a little more focused on other things for 2013. Perhaps 14 will be the year for a physical makeover... Or maybe 2015?

Here are my goals for 2013, in no particular order. Maybe writing & sharing them will help me hold myself accountable.

BE PRESENT. I posted before about finding the balance being a working mom. I still haven't got it all figured out. But I am going to make more effort to be present while we're together. Put my phone down. Turn off the tv. Miss an hour of sleep in the mornings if I need to. Just be totally present & in tune to her needs and wants when I'm with her. Even if we aren't going & doing. Just reading a book or playing with her babies or coloring a picture.

BE A BETTER FRIEND. I have been a selfish friend this year. I have relied to much on my friends' encouragement & support but haven't done much to return the favor or say thanks. So this year, I am putting that effort on my priorities. Both IRL & my "cyber" friends. Whether it be making myself get dressed & go to a lunch (I'm terrible about this. Esp now that I'm 40 minutes from town) or simply praying for a friend or sending happy surprises in the mail. I want to be the friend that I've needed.

TRUST IN THE LORD. More on this later. But I am going to quit making excuses or trying to handle things on my own. I like to be in control & I need to accept that He is in control and hand it over to Him. I feel like I don't deserve his grace & mercy. And the truth is, I don't. But for some reason, He hasn't given up on me. He has just been waiting for me to ask Him for help. To let my defenses down, & come to Him. So that's what I'm going to do. I am coming to Him feeling defeated, exhausted and angry with tear streaked cheeks. I shouldn't have waited so long. But I already feel relief because I KNOW he can do a better job than me and that He is already at work on my behalf.

FORGIVE. Along with finalizing my divorce & closing that chapter, my goal is to find a way to forgive G. Not say its ok or love him again, just forgive. And not so much for him, as I doubt he cares if I forgive him, but for me. The anger & resentment I carry only hurts me. He continues living his life & I am left carrying this weight on my heart. For myself & for my daughter (and perhaps a future family), I have to forgive. I think this will come along with the previous goal...

TAKE PRISSY ON VACATION. I know for a lot of you, this is weird. Vacations are a given for you. But for me, financially, this is not an easy goal. But since I'm living with my parents, this may be the best year to be able to pull it off. Even if it's nothing extravagant, it's something I want to do for her. For us both really.

PAY OFF DEBTS. This one is obvious. It's hard to move forward & start a new life if I'm still paying for the old one. I suck at budget. And hate paying for things that don't give me automatic satisfaction. Boring bills as I call them. But I refuse to drag the baggage from this marriage along with me any longer than I have to.

What are you looking forward to doing differently in 2013??

No comments:

Post a Comment

Site Design by Designer Blogs