Thursday, May 9, 2013

Relationship Manifesto

My manifesto is actually very simple. Almost embarrassingly so, considering I've been thinking about it for months.

I have so many things I've learned from my first marriage that I want to carry to my second. But, at the end of the day, it is very simply boiled down to 3 major points.

When my parents got married 28 years ago, it was not without drama. There were all kinds of problems clouding over their happiness. My mama always has told me that she turned to her granny in times like these. I very much wish I could have known my great granny Ward. But I see her legacy that has touched generations, so in a way, I do know her. I know her heart. I will likely tell Aubrey Jo what her great granny Ward told her Mimi when she wondered about her future husband. She said "Does he love the Lord? And does he love you? Then everything else will fall into place." And so far, it has. So that's what I keep coming back to.

Love the Lord. I pray for a husband that not just simply believes, but has a real relationship with God. Talks to Him. Encourages me in my walk. Prays with and for me. And our family.

Love me. I mean, truly love me. With all my flaws. Doesn't spend our time together trying to change me. Or fool me. Doesn't just love certain traits about me or things I bring to the relationship. Just loves me. In a passionate, spiritual, real kind of love. Understands my heart, and feels honored to be the keeper of my heart.

I will add one though that my great granny Ward didn't anticipate.

Love my daughter. The man that is after my heart has a tough road. He not only has to win me over, but Aubrey Jo too. He has to love & be loved by her. He has to love her enough to not only understand, but respect & appreciate that she comes first. His journey is hard, but I like to think the reward is so very much worth it.

I feel like if my marriage is built in the foundation & framework of these 3 things, then we will weather any storm. The rest is just picture frames and throw pillows. It will come along. We can make the rest work as long as we are rooted here.

That's not to say though that the picture frames & throw pillows aren't important; they are. And I may go into some of the patterns I like on my pillows later. But chevron vs. paisley aren't deal breakers.
So I don't feel like it's fair to include them here.

1 comment:

  1. Love love love! So glad you finally got this written down. Keep it firm in your mind until your future husband crosses your path. And refuse to settle for anything less than what you wrote in your manifesto. It. Is. Possible.

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