Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Picture Frames & Throw Pillows

I said I would come back to this. And, 3 months later, I am.

So many things go into a relationship. I touched on what I think the foundation should be. For me, if my husband loves God, me and Aubrey Jo, I think we can make it through almost anything.

But, who wants to just "make it" through a marriage? A living room works with just a chair and a tv. But isn't it so much more pleasurable when you add in the throw pillows & picture frames? I think so too. So here are my relationship picture frames & throw pillows.

His Family.  A man leaves his mother and father and embraces his wife, and they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24) I believe a man should put his wife and child first. If it comes down to having to choose. But I also believe it shouldn't have to come to that. Family is important, how can he love me and my family if he can't love (and be loved by) his family? I only have 1 sister. We always used to dream of having more siblings. I was heartbroken when my fantasy of gaining 3 brothers (AND their significant others- 3 new sisters too!) was shot down. I will not again walk into a marriage with a man whose family does not accept his decisions as a man, especially his decision to take me as his wife. This goes double for his mama and daddy. This is less of a picture frame, and more of the huge canvas mounted over the mantle. It's crucial. It can make or break the Feng Shui of the whole room.

My Sister. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (1 John 20-21) While on the topic of siblings; encourage my relationship with my sister and her family. We were on shaky ground and are finally recovering. I missed her during the time we weren't on good terms. As my husband, he should encourage the relationship without really stepping in. She & I can fight, get pissed, then get over it. We are sisters, it's what we do. If you say something though, it will never be forgotten. I remember every single thing my brother-in-law said... only about half of what my sister said. I don't want my sister to have anything to hold on to against my husband.
... This goes double for my mama and daddy
... Quadruple for my granny and grandpa

Gender Roles. I am actually pretty traditional. I pick the paint color, you paint. I choose the flowers, you mow the grass. I do the laundry, you take out the trash. But, sometimes I may have to drag the heavy boxes of Christmas decorations out of the garage. My husband will be willing to start dinner sometimes without complaining and reminding me that it's "my job".

Money. Hey, big boy, what's yours is mine. You may very well make more money than I do (or heck, you may be the ONLY one bringing home a paycheck). But if something needs to be bought, I will have full access to the account and full freedom to make purchases without permission. I won't hide my purchases from you, and you don't hide where all those ATM withdrawals are going from me.

Communication. If you don't tell me, it's safe to say I won't know. If I don't know, I can't change. I need the lines of communication to be wide open. I have to be able to talk to my husband, and know that he is talking to me. About the big things and even the little things. With communication comes trust. I feel like the two go hand in hand.

Acceptance... & Forgiveness. I come with a lot of baggage. And it aint pretty LV fancy luggage. It is just plain and simple baggage. I would like to say I won't let my past come to my future. But I think that's easier said than done. So I need a patient man that will love me through.

Forever. I planned to only have 1 marriage. And for it to be until DEATH do us part. That obviously didn't work out that way. However, I do only plan to have 1 divorce. I want to grow old with my husband. I want my marriage to stand the test of time. To last forever. I want a marriage my children and grandchildren aspire to re-create in their own marriages. I want to be that old couple in Cracker Barrel.... right through our rockin' years.

Relationship Manifesto
Manifesto Bloopers

1 comment:

  1. I love this. It sounds weird, but before I met JM I watched a LOT of "Millionaire Matchmaker" on Bravo. She's a little bit of a lunatic, but she had some really *really* sound advice about "dealbreakers". She said you should have 5 non-negotiable things and those are ways you determine whether a potential mate is a match. I think it's so smart that you've put these all in writing - teamwork and support of each other seems to be the general theme and I totally agree with it.


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