Thursday, September 5, 2013

I Think We're Alone Now

 
I shared this on instagram today. I love 80's music, and I really love when I'm alone in the car and can turn it up while I dance & sing along loud as I can. I was on a commercial free 80's music high when the very next thing I hear blaring through my speakers is "Children behave, that's what they say when we're together...."
 
If you follow me on twitter then you saw some of the disgusting (but, I admit, mildly hilarious) details of my husband's infidelity last summer. Primarily, I think everyone was in agreement that the grown 'woman' who sent lyrics to a Tiffany song to my husband in a love letter should be throat punched. Hard. With a chair. Repeatedly.
 
Last year, while still in training for my new job, we were listening to music during a break & this song came on. Then? I burst into tears and very dramatically stormed out excused myself from the room while I tried to pull it together. It wasn't easy. It was a full on breakdown. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stop. I wanted to drive straight home, throw myself under the covers and not come out for a couple days. It was bad. I was a broken hearted fool, I tell ya.
 
This day though? I found myself singing along and enjoying an old favorite. Even as I belted out the lyrics "Look at the wayyyy we gotta hide what we're doing. Cause what would they sayyyy, if they ever knew?"
 
I would say that's a good sign for my little heart. He (and all of the "shes" involved in the demise of my marriage) no longer hold that power over me. They no longer can send me running to a bathroom gasping for air through running soap opera style mascara when a cheesy 80's song comes on.
 
Isn't it nice to know that it really does get better? That it doesn't hurt (as bad) forever? That you can come out of that hole? That God never lets it stay too bad for too long?

8 comments:

  1. So proud of you! You've come so far! And are so strong!!

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    1. Girl, to hear anyone call me strong still makes me do a double take. I look around like "who is she talking to" haha thank you (= I'm trying. I'm certainly proud of myself standing here today thinking of where I was (barely) standing a year ago!

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  2. Someone once told me that when you can make it all the way through a song that used to make you cry, you're over him. So glad you're making small steps to healing your heart!

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    1. Ooohhh, I like that measuring stick! I haven't heard that before. But it feels right... (= woo hoo for healing!

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  3. I hate when other women ruin a perfectly good song and ugh... like you said what GROWN ASS woman writes down Tiffany lyrics? (to be fair it's a Beatles song but STILL!!!!)... I'm glad you're over the hump. There is no sense in now crying over cheesy 80's music, is there. The first time, totally warranted but I'm glad you're healing!!! It took me years to listen to certain songs again after my first heartbreak, I can't imagine I'd be any different after a divorce with so many more adult emotions of hurt.

    Keep healing and know you are better off! :) xoxo

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    1. Right? Whore! Ruining a good jam (= thankfully though, she didn't own it for long. Isn't it weird the power of songs on a break up?

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  4. That deserves celebration drinks! So proud of you ma'am!

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