Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Sincerely, Me

Dear "Shaggy",
The "wasn't me" line is so 2001. Step it up & take some accountability. You lie. Your lies affect people. Your lies have hurt people around you. Continuing to lie makes it worse. You're a coward. 
With *no* love,
The Girl That Caught You

Dear Left Lane Drivers,
G O ! ! !
Seriously. Press the gas pedal or move to the right lane. This is basic interstate driving courtesies. 
Never a Fan,
The Girl Stuck Behind You

Dear Toddlers,
You're (mostly) cute but you aren't our bosses. Stop that. Mommy rules. Even if we laugh at your 'tude, that doesn't mean you won. 
Forever Yours,
The Women Who Birthed You

Dear Lunch... If that's Your Real Name,
It's not. It's not your real name. You're a banana and watermelon gum. Get out of here. And tell your friend sunshine to come out so I can walk & get something better. Or your friend lunchbox to make itself more visible so I will quit forgetting to bring a "lunch" from home. 
Longingly,
The Girl That Forgets You Everyday

Dear Body,
We are too young to quit now. No, seriously, let's pull it together. 
Sincerely,
The Girl Carrying You Around 

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