Thursday, April 17, 2014

Confessions

I have done these almost-ex-wife confessions before. It's been a while though. And some of my new confessions are kinda fun!

I have my own phone. My own plan. My own account. My very own. I've never had my own phone before. I went from my parents', to my husband's, back to my parents' line. A couple months ago though I established my very own. Nobody else monitoring my usage, reminding me about a balance, or being able to get pissed off at me & threaten to shut it off. So nice!

On that same subject, I BOUGHT A BED! I have never bought any piece of furniture that was bought & paid for BY me, FOR me. It wasn't gifted, it wasn't for "us" and I didn't have to ask anyone else's permission or opinion. (I mean, I did ask my good friend with a great eye for style, but you know what I mean) I can't wait now to buy every single table, picture frame, trash can and all the furnishings -big and small! Bring it on, it feels good. 

I'm really excited about this opportunity. I never thought I would be leading by example in some of the things I am now. I don't just have to tell my daughter about dating and standards, I get to show her. It's a lot of pressure but I'm ready! I get to show her about loving yourself, about taking care of yourself, about taking accountability & not having someone else to blame. I get to show her what a woman on her own looks like. I get to show her that while having THE RIGHT man is great, you don't have to settle for ANY man just because life is easier with someone else to take out the trash. 

I'm a liar. I say all of that and I'm keeping one confession to myself: I'M TERRIFIED TO BE ALONE! Not like relationship alone, but physically alone. I have never lived by myself - again, from my parents to my grandparents to roommates to my husband. Robbers, rapists, murderers, cult leaders, psychos, and general hoodlums. I'm. So. Scared. I used to just stay up scared to fall asleep, and kept a bat at the door when my husband worked night shifts. Lord help me, I don't know what I'm going to do now. Lose sleep, I imagine. Coffee dates, anyone?

1 comment:

  1. two words: alarm system. Get one and sleep better.

    Having the bat isn't a bad idea. I have one regret in life, and that is like you I never moved out of my parent's home before getting married, and lived on my own, by myself. I had roomies in college for a year, and I lived with some friends in the summer but I always hat the NET of being able to go back home. I wish I would have had just ONE year at least to live on my own in an apartment.

    My husband and I moved in together after only dating for 6 months - but to be fair, I dated other not so great guys and I knew we were meant to be. So far not too shabby it's been almost 10 years since then, and we're married 2 of those years.... so fingers crossed. That being said I do miss not having had the chance to PICK MY OWN STUFF REGARDLESS OF WHAT ANYONE THINGS.

    ENJOY IT - live it up - and get it all while you can. I know Mr. Right is out there but I love that you're in no rush and you're ready to focus on YOU and your little one! oxoxo HAVE FUN!

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