Saturday, May 10, 2014

The End


Yesterday, I made the trip back to Panama City, a trip I haven't made since I packed our things 2 years ago. Right there, on the 3rd floor, I sat across the table from my husband and ended a marriage I thought would last forever. There wasn't much talking, we didn't fight, it was almost too simple. 

Is your marriage irretrievably broken?
Yes. 
Is there anything this court can do to save your marriage?
No. 

And just like that, next thing I know I will be mailed a final divorce decree. 

Later that day I glanced at my timehop app and saw this:
4 years ago at that very moment we were just a few blocks away from that courthouse celebrating my first Mother's (to be) Day. So happy and unsuspecting. We had no idea what was to become of our little family. No idea ...

Speaking of our little family... Walking in the door to Miss Priss after our hearing was a very strange feeling. She saw me, smiled real big & came running to me arms wide open yelling "da da da da!" (Her speech disorder is to blame. I swear I don't want to be called dada. She says her M's like D's) I just fell to my knees and hugged her tight. She had no idea what a big deal that morning was in her little life. I'm so thankful she is young enough to not fully grasp what is going on, but I felt a need to tell her something. I felt like she deserved a conversation. I spent all day trying to think what I say to a 3 year old. At the end of the night, when we laid in bed all I could come up with was "Today was a big day. Your mama loves you so very much & is here to answer questions when you're ready" to which of course she responded with the same question she always has "can we go swing & get donuts tomorrow?"

And so life goes on as normal. 

My friend sent this text and I thought it was perfect to what I was feeling. She is always spot on:

WOO HOOOOOOO!!! Gosh I bet you are having one big deep breath for a sigh of relief. 

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." -2Tim 4:7

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