Tuesday, October 14, 2014

To Be More Like Her

Last week we went to the fair. Aubrey Jo had the best time. There were lots of little things that made me smile. One thing really stood out to me though compared to our trip last year. She has grown up so much in this one short year. Not only is she now TALL enough to get on a lot of rides by herself, but she is also BRAVE enough to step up to the line and ride by herself. When she got off, she beamed with pride jumping up and down "I did it with nobody!!" Each time we tried to get in line with her, she would say "no! I big girl. You wait here."

So independent. So brave. 


I like to think the last 2.5 years I have had to find some independence and make some hard choices and put on a brave face. But I have to be forced. I have to be shoved into the line, held down while they buckle me in and I'm so angry for having been forced outside my comfort zone that I can't even smile with pride for making it through the whole ride I didn't think I'd survive. 

Put me in a situation with people I don't know, a place I'm not familiar with or an activity I'm not sure I'll be good at and I totally shut down. Sweating, heart racing, tears swelling, full on anxiety panic attack. 

I wish I had my daughter's sense of independence and bravery. I'm going to be making a conscious effort to change that about myself starting now. 

If you could change one thin about yourself what would it be? What are you doing to make those improvements?

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